Thursday, September 20, 2012

Infantile Men

My most current pet peeve is based upon the number of men I encounter in both the professional world and in my personal life who seem to think it perfectly acceptable to act like a child - I prefer the adjective infantile, as it implies that not only did these men not bother to grow up all the way - they have demonstrated that they have not grown up at all. This has nothing to do with living at home or being semi dependent on your family, to me there is nothing dishonorable about that. This is about being rude, and being okay with being rude. I find that this manifests in two major ways:

First way is in lacking common courtesy. Circumventing pleases, thank yous and excuse mes does not make you appear more authoritative and manly. It makes you look like an awkward asshole who never went to kindergarten. Instead, let's try being polite to everyone, whether or not they are attractive or can make you money, it will get you laid and make everyone less prone to road rage. Got it? Great.

Second display of male childishness - short tempers. This is the big one. Allowing yourself to snap - verbally or physically - is the single most unattractive trait in a man. Making someone feel threatened - particularly a woman or child to whom you are related, is absolutely disgusting. Part of this I understand is cyclic testosterone, and I get that. But most of it is this societal acceptance of a really effed up idea of masculinity. Even though contemporary America is pretty aware of the damages of domestic violence, there still is this permission granted to men to be bossy, to wear the pants, to show anger, rather than be bossed around (dare I suggest that equal negotiation might be best?) Doing this at home and at work - and directing this metaphorical pronouncement of testicular ownership toward women - is definitely a theme I have picked up on in the past few years. This does not apply to all men, to be fair. There are plenty who manage their anger and perceived authority with grace and dignity. But, there a a notable few who ruin it by being totally insecure with themselves.

My request is this: those of you who lose your mind over little things and turn toward a woman, who you likely look at as the path of least resistance toward an emotional punching bag, need to get your shit together, because it is not okay. I hate the idea of playing the victim, but the fact is that these bullies exist in full force, and their asses need to be whipped into shape.

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