Wednesday, November 14, 2012


I was speaking with a platonic friend of mine who was being very explicit about his sex life with his girlfriend. Because I have known him for so long, it did not occur to me to be uncomfortable until he asked me if I was, at which point I felt a little bit guilty.

Would the woman being discussed be offended if she knew that I was privy to the sordid details of her most intimate pastime? I really do not know. She and I are somewhat close, though not as close as I am with her boyfriend, since he was a good childhood friend. Does it matter that I am a woman? Should he even be talking about this to friends, or is it no one's business?

In an age when morals are flexible and relationships take varying forms, what boundaries are to be implemented in these situations? Especially since professionals all have different opinions about what constitutes healthy levels of openness.

If I had a boyfriend who talked openly with friends about how much sex we had, what type, etc, I would be really irritated, because it distributes something that I thought just belonged to me, cheapens it, and I would, of course, feel exposed. Though, I talk about sex with my girlfriends till the cows come home, so I would probably turn a blind eye. The thing I would find unacceptable is my significant other talking about sex with female friends, I'd like to think it wouldn't bother me, but I think in heterosexual relationships, these things really do matter. It puts the subject of sex on the table, and while I personally have never allowed to lead to unfaithfulness, one could imagine the possibilities.

With all that said, my feelings in this instance aren't necessarily mirrored by every woman on the planet, and certainly not every man. However, to keep the slate as clean as possible, I told me? No, but from here on out I will steer the conversation to more considerate territory.

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